daily letter (day 9)

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

There are lots of people I wanna meet. But to become realistic, I will write a letter to 2 or so people I wanna see alive before I die.

Dear long lost Daddy,

You know why I wanna meet you right?

Dear Trissey,

You don't know me, but I love your fashion sense and I've been following your blogs (here and here). I also like your tandem. You look good together and I hope you're nice when I see you. I just want to have a picture or two with you.

Dear Cawi's crush,

You are incomparable. And I guess he is right that you are waaay too much for him. I don't know why. I admit I become jealous every time he mentions your name and how he expresses sweet sighs in front of me. I know you're cool and hopefully kind enough to disregard my rude remarks. Anyhoo, I still wanna meet you and become good friends. But having you as a friend might be bad idea so i think we're better off this way-- anonymous to each other. I follow your blog and makes me like you more. 

See you around,

angel :)

daily letter (day 5)

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Dear Dreams,

You sometimes scare me at night making me wish I don't wanna go back to sleep again. But then I need you to free myself from fears I imagined in the real world. There are times that you make me hungry making me wish you are for real. And there are times that you make me "kilig" especially when Hollywood celebrities visit me and my Cawi snuggle me making me wish I could sleep forever with a dream like that. 

But my dear dream, you know how much I wanted to become my dream role in society. I know this sounds silly, but I really wanted to become a CELEBRITY! I wanna hang-out with the public figures, getting sponsors from and/

or become one of the model of 

 famous clothing lines, receive projects and getting paid for my talent, endorse products, being taken care of the prominent stylists and dermatologists. And then, I can help, not only to my family, but also to those poverty-stricken people.

I know this sounds too much. But there's no harm in dreaming, right? It's just a dream. But there is still a 50-50 chance that this might come true. Yes, it does. Because Cawi was once a dream before we met. He came into reality and I love him and still loving him because he's for real.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to keep on dreaming.

Goodnight,

Angel

MAY 10, 2010

This is the most anticipated date of the candidates for the election. I'm a first-time voter. Over the months they've been campaigning, I was also criticizing their campaign ads on how they annoyingly ruin my couch potato moments. You can hear their jingles everywhere in this town. And banners are hanging from one post to another.  And now, the streets are peaceful. The posters were slowly ripped off by the rain and wind (that's good). And I just woke up early this morning, and they handed me this: 

Vote buying, my friends. As a first-time voter, I experienced this; the very least thing I expected. So, that's how desperate our candidates are. My vote was PRICED! If I weren't broke today, I would've given it to someone else. OK, OK... I'm being plastic. I'm really broke and I need money to buy sanitary napkin. That's it. And since I left the house with an empty stomach, I bought few snacks in the sari-sari store. (Geez! While I was typing this sentence, I am feeling guilty because I was using the dirty money *sad*). Then, I reviewed the list of my candidates, getting ready to head off to my precinct in a school nearby. 

Well, I was greeted by the wet road. And as I was approaching the school, two guys gave me flyers. It was kinda annoying because it was such a waste of paper. And what do they expect of me to do with those? Me, will throw them all to the bin? Anyway, moving on. So I reached the school gate packed with voters searching for their names on their precincts. Me, so ignorant, don't really know what to do. So I just sat down, waiting for my cousin's cue. Then so much blahblahblah's happened. When my cousin told me to line up, I asked help from the personnel so I will know where's the end of the line. So there, I lined up and people were pushing other people who were already in line. Then there's this annoying manong who cut the line. I was really pissed off. Because when the line was half way towards the door, si manong sumingit, at marami nang sumunod!!! The last time I glanced at him, he was like 5-7 persons away from me. And when he cut the line, he was already 2 persons ahead of me. 

"'Yang naka-stripe! "Yan 'yung manong na sumingit sa pila. Nainis ako sa kanya kaya piniktyuran ko nalang sya. Bad trip, eh!"

After waiting for my turn, I signed my biometric info and got my ballot. Shaded the "bilog na may hugis itlog" beside the candidates' names. Submitted my ballot to the PCOS machine who ate my vote (hehe, just kiddin'), and a man put indelible ink on my forefinger. 

vain voter

And there I am, boasting that purple finger.

And oh, *tummy grumbles*, i forgot to eat my lunch.

ciao

job interview messed up

Interviewer: Ok, Miss Doby, there is only one rule in this interview. You have to speak in english all throughout this interview.
Me: Alrght, sir.

That was the second line I heard from our interviewer in Meno Gaia after I greeted him a good afternoon. Cool voice and awesome accent, I got nervous that I might stutter and give him a dead air in between my sentences. OMG! Why can't I be talkative? I hate my silent-type alter ego. Why can't I be as talkative as in writing?!

And so, the interview went on. We reviewed some points in English subject: the parts of speech, subject-verb agreement, verb tenses and definition of terms. We also did a one-line translation from Visaya to English and some identification.

Then, the most critical question in interview (I think) is when the interviewer asked me that "tell me about yourself" question, "how did you know that this company is hiring?", and other interview questions I read in the internet.

And I finally went through unscathed. Though some of the questions were answered wrongly, I think I can pass the interview. Though I stuttered a bit and said "aah's" and "uhm's", I think I constructed the sentences correctly. And though I looked so tensed yesterday, I somehow put on my charm while holding my hands tightly, hoping I can make it :D

After the interview session, along with Mathew and Lea, we went straight to G.Mall to relieve our stress with pizza from Greenwich and some cute service crews *u*

P.S. Thanks to Mathew for this sweet treat :D

thrilled!

 

it's from here

My Ninang sent me a mail via facebook.com. I was thrilled when I read that she and her husband bought a surprise graduation gift for me. I am ÜBER excited to know what it is. And now that the graduation date is drawing nearer {April 16, 2010, that is}, I already have my drive to finish all the requirements needed to graduate. Who doesn't? Good luck to me.... Good luck to all to-be-graduates of 2010! ♥

say hello to 2-O-1-O!

 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..

2010!

We already dusted off the cobwebs out of the corner of the cabinets and swept the filthy fallen hair under the tables and beds. Now that 2010 is here, I think it is time to revamp this house and myself as well. How about a list of New Year’s resolution? But I can’t promise you guys that I can keep them all. They’re just my goals this year :)

Let’s start my top ten resolution for this year…

1.    Diet! Diet! Diet! I wanna be slim for yearbook’s sake.
2.    I want my fair white skin back. Still, this is for my yearbook’s sake.
3.    Be thrifty. Being labeled “bilmoko” by my family, I should learn the proper way to handle money. Especially, this is my last term being the Clarion’s managing editor… :( Spend wisely. I am also planning to buy something to treat myself since my birthday is fast approaching XD
4.    Eradicate procrastination. I know this is a bad habit that is almost impossible to break, but I’m really trying hard to avoid this since I’m going to be a nurse soon. It is a no-no to my profession.
5.    Be practical. I should choose things wisely- what to use or buy and what should be avoided. RESIST TEMPTATION!!!
6.    Learn to prioritize. Indeed!
7.    Be fashionable. A lot of trendy clothes can be bought from thrift-stores. There’s no need to spend thousands of cash *though I don’t have any* just to buy a single piece of apparel.
8.    Be more determined. Say yes to DOBY ANGELA T. TORRES, RN! Yeehaw!
9.    Have a stronger bond with family ties and relationship with Cawi. Keep them forever.
10.    Blog more!

What’s your new year’s resolution?

nice time

after 24 hrs. of waiting for the usual text

hidobe (my name in his phonebook): gudnyt mine..imade a mstake knina, im sory..i knw ur nt mad anymor pro my angst prn,i hope thngs wil get beter n tym...

CawIsMine (his name in my phonebook): gudnyt

just this evening...

CawIsMine: im done pro ba2th p aq.,

hidobe:kkei, il w8..

CawIsMine:pued mg say ng i luv u?

hidobe:pwde kaau, kaw lang man hnhntay q.. *smiles and teary-eyed* i luv u mine

CawIsMine: I luv u luv :) xoxo mine

hidobe: (haay salamat, balik na sa dati txt nmin) Finally, mahal kta mine

CawisMine: mahal din poh kta mine.. wud?





hehe...this is what i've been waiting since yesterday. if we're texting this way, i know we're owkeiz

Deliverance

"a kiss: sometimes you would never expect who'll give it to you next."

Sometimes, not all holidays started with a sweet hello. Regrets and miserable mistakes may win the finish line before the summer has started. I never thought you could be the one who'll bring me in this kind of desolation. However, I'm in between satisfaction and heartache; loyalty and infidelity; fantasy and misery; pride or forget it. I don't know which one to choose.

We imbibed the bitterness of liquor down our throat until you faltered and left the table for good. I was a bit giddy and tried to escape the suffocation from the smoke of cigarettes. I searched for the breeze of the sea. There, I found peace. I feel isolated and alone; it’s what I wanted- be alone. My toes combed the sand of the shore and tickled me for a relief. I wandered my eyes for light. And there beneath the lamp post, I saw you leaning on it, like a drunkard held by a sober barman. You slowly slid your back downward until your butt hit the ground softly. Your melancholic atmosphere lured me to come closer to you. Hesitant, I still drew myself nearer. I heard you whimpered; not so typical of you. You shot a stare at me looking mad and about to attack. I was surprised as I turned my back and tried to walk away when I heard you called my name. I never thought you would still remember me despite of your intoxication. I can see the tears glimmer and obviously making your eyes blur. I can feel the immensity of the emotion around you.

We were standing under the perfect sphere of pale moonlight. The waves were crashing the shore gently and the cool breeze was sweeping my hair out of my face as it wiped your tears to dry. There was a silent pause; but it's never dull. The chill was creeping down my spine as the distance between us grew shorter. It was unusual. The feeling's unusual; somewhat new to me. I could never imagine myself in a spot where there's only you and me. We haven't been alone for a minute; neither stared at each other for a long time. We don't even bothered to talk about anything. And now I'm stuck, and seemingly unable to move, in front of you.

“Why not me?” That mumbled question coming from your mouth left me immobile in an instant. And before I knew it, I have tasted the liquor on your tongue and the warmth of air we shared on that stolen moment. And for that hasty bliss, I forgot the one who held my heart. The one who trusted me; the one who kept his faith in me; the one I told I would love him until my last breath; the one who used to be the friend of this one who made my eyes closed for a moment.

At the end of the day, bashful smiles traced the guilt on our faces. A bleak memory of a good amity started the fete of vacation for the two incompatible hearts that cannot be matched at their crooked cranny lines.

more...more...

i want more!!! the last time Cawi gave me flowers was on my birthday. it's his first time to give flowers and my first time to receive such from my boo... weee... i'm so happy, even though it's pink. (ok, so i'm not really a pink-hater. i would only love pink if someone special gave it to me).
i hope this coming 11th of April, our 19th monthsaree... i want 19 roses... i don't care about the color, as long as they're roses, fragrant, NOT PLASTIC, and handed by you...

peace?

"my heart was broken when he didn't wait for me; now i am trying to
put it back together with him."

almost all the time i can't stand it when i have to wait for him to say sorry. it would always be me who say that 's' word albeit it's his fault. i think i'm too pathetic to realize i am one. again, i did it. i said sorry. i can't stand here waiting for him to text me or buzz me or whatever. is this still called LOVE? i feel sorry for myself. but i don't want to be sorry if i will lose him. (there i am again, pathetic, as always).


anyway, reconciliation would always be helpful to mend whatever is broken. but would it still look new or it would be just like a recycled stuff made out of scraps we already used? whatever, it would always be us. i don't want and tend to be possessive but i just thought i became one. however, this love has driven me to something i was avoiding when i was little: insanity.

at this point, what matters is that we're back in almost one piece, we reconciled to each other (but no kisses), and we're at peace.

Take 2 No More

no more second chances
and i've ran out of patience
i waited, i just grew tired
i'm in my senses now
there's no turning back
i'm moving on

i've been down on my knees
begging for you
but you never came
you're preocccupied with your jerky friends
and rather spend time with them

few years passed
you needed me still
you said your life has been incomplete
since the day i left
wait a moment, who left?
you can turn the world
but you cannot turn me
i just want to be happy
and i am what i wanted

i never have to kiss you goodbye
cuz you've been long gone
and i will never say hello
to a love that never was.

Anhedonia

sitting at the end of a four-poster bed
looking at your eyelashes
locking your eyes to sleep
snoring your restlessness away

naked and cold, i cried
i'm a hopeless romantic soul
waiting for your return
from the one who owned you

i'm down on my knees
begging for you to leave.
after this body rush,
forget me, forget everything

wake up from your dream
turn yout back from our fantasies
it's no use in loving me
for the love of making love out of me

i'm tired, i'm helpless
i'm sick of living a lie
i'm sick of living this life
i'm going... Goodbye.