i have a flickr account?!

i have no FFin' idea how i got a flickr account. i don't remember uploading my photos there. but i think it's a good thing though.... i'm just in a shock i got it... though i know it is powered by Yahoo!, still it gives me creeps that somebody must have been hacking my account... paranoid, eh? so, whoever got a flickr account there, i hope you'll like my photos. let's be friends :)

Christmas Eve wishlist!

Merry Christmas to all! This day seem so cold... Not much preparation, gift wrappings and food. To make me feel better, I made my wishlist hoping that Santa would this :)

1. I want my special someone to spend his Christmas with me or with his family. Either way won't make his Christmas cold. I bet he wanted someone to celebrate this season.

2. Turn back time. I want to go back to the time I haven't thought of formatting that camera. Maybe, just maybe, i could've made something more rightful than stupidly press the center button.

3. More food for noche buena. My lola gave P500 to my tita and thought of having KFC bucket meal. I think it's practical and the food is good enough since there are less people in this house. But I was thinking of leche flan and Red Ribbon cakes and vanilla or strawberry ice cream! yum :p

4. Lots of call and text load. I wanna ring up those dear people and greet them MERRY CHRISTMAS one by one.

5. Midnight walk with Cawi. I want to walk with him along the street since there's no fireworks and hopefully less accidents.

6. I want my own digital camera. Yeah, I'm craving to have one. Heard of lookbook.nu? I want to have an account there... *sighs* And i want this one...dual lcd digicam

7. A very good and disciplined diet. I WANNA BE SLENDER!!!!

8. I want a laptop... because... just because :)

9. I want an iPhone. It is portable.

10.DVD marathon. I want a portable DVD player where I can watch movies anytime i want.. Who wants to agree with me?

11. A complete family. I want everybody here this Christmas... Wishing I knew who's my daddy, ya'll! hehe!

12. World peace. Seriously, guys, we need this. Who doesn't? Unless if you're a greedy, war-freak sadomasochist.

13. No more famine. We don't wanna die starving.

14. A clean and Green Earth. We wanna live in this little sphere in the universe a little longer, so don't waste time wasting your garbage, a**holes!

So MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS FOLKS!!! HAVE A SAFE AND PEACEFUL CELEBRATION! ♥

the start of my talking walls. inspired by le love

have you seen it?
my first talking wall?
i think i'll start making lots of 'em, too...
i pwomis to make the words original;
and i will put "" "" on exerpts/quotes with author's name.

check le love's charming page.

remember this, i call them "talking walls" :)
♪enjoy!♪

freakin' idea

i was so itching to write something so i get my favorite pen and my notebook from last sem (i just love notebooks and writing on the unwritten pages)...

i thought of writing a poem- i just couldn't think of anyone for inspiration.
i thought of an essay- nope! i'm not good at it. and i don't know how to start it.
i thought of an opinion- still nothing to be discriminated
and so i thought of a short story- great! i just have to think of the characters' names and the situation and... and... and... sheeesh! no good.

so i started to write something in English. i wrote whatever came in to my mind disregarding the grammar. then i started to write the dialogue part. i was having a hard time to determine who-said-what-to-who...

so i translated it to tagalog.

it's my first time to make a story in tagalog.

mas maiintindihan na ng mga nagbabasa ang mga sinusulat ko -.- lalo na mga pinsan ko.

so my freakin' idea is...

i'll make a freakin' tagalog pocket book.

hahaha...

(gosh! i never thought i could think of such an idea just because i want to write)

i miss...

the [ex] clarion staff who just graduated...PAPA AL...being 17 years old...being the pain-in-the-ass to my classmates...being bully to my siblings(but i didn't say i'm miss good girl already)...the playground in our school when i was in kinder...the Marina Azul...the dance troupe club which made me slimmer for a month...being single [but i love how happy i am with him]...ma'am donna for the making her English subject the most loved period in the afternoon cuz of the movies we watched in the speech lab...W.i.t.c._.e.s. together (i am 'h')...my 3310 cp...meteor garden and F4...my p.e. uniform in high school...chinese garter and limborock...my childhood friends in gensan...my bra-less get-ups in elementary...being well-known in a small populated campus...dance revo and [old-skool] playstation...walkmans...being one of the top ten outstanding students...my drawing skills...joining talent auditions...my never-been-kissed lips...being such a spoiled brat...typewiters...collecting and bartering stationeries...EVERYTHING I MISS!

dalawang tulog

"what would happen after i blow the candle two days from now?"

i'm not ready yet. two days from now, i'm out of my teenage years. but i can't seem to satisfy myself with how i dealt with it when i started looking back since i started my age 19. i was deprived from having night life; i became innocent of what the usual teenagers do. i thought i knew it all; i was wrong (*sigh*). anyhow, i am happy i lived those teenage days not used to having vices. it's a pride for me :D .

so what did i do today?
>i had a make-up duty this morning which is a kill time for me.
>i search through the shelves of my memory where the hell i placed the action plan for that purchase... whatever (i still don't get what it's called *sorry*) for our school publication.
>i met cawi for a movie in his iPod (twilight is still a great, mushy, bone-tingling movie).
>we had a dinner meeting at mandarin with the rest of the Clarion staff for planning and everything.
>i bought my favorite 'apa' (it'd a crispy wafer) along the street. *sweet!*
>i just went home tired.
>i run through my books, turning them upside down and finally found the action plan i mentioned early.

what do i really want to do today?
>pay the charges at the accounting office.
>have a coffee with cawi (but he loathes coffee):
>let the CI's sign my procrastinating rotation clearance.
>watch lots of movie in cawi's iPod.
>rather sleep in the clarion office or beside cawi.
>shop
>search for an orthodontic for my teeth repair.
>attend an aerobic session
>get a new hairdo.
>make this day a stress-free day.

so what now?

... what now is...
every day, i'm taking a one step closer to the brink where i have no choice but to become 20...
i don't know what's in store for me.
i don't know what i am capable to do on that day
i don't know what others would say when they know i'm 20.
i don't know... i really have no idea.

can i just change the day of my birthday?

kill time

for some reasons, i just wanted to lie flat on the ground...

i just came from our first day of our epidemiology exposure, or whatever it is. i don't know what really is the cause for my exhaustion, but i'm really tired... (well, not so..) i dunno if it is the stress that i received from our PCI: lecturing while others already found their clients; the narrow paths that we've been sauntering for almost an hour; the questions that we've been formulating in our mind so that we won't be asking offensive questions to our client; the fact that I only interviewed 3 clients out of 5; the stress that's boiling in me because of the thought CAWI did not texted me or whatsoever.... or maybe it's just the jeep ride that went bumpy... uhm... oh well...

whatever it is... or are...

I'M TIRED!!!

bridge will never be the owner

i don't have time to bother your problem... because i don't think it's mine... besides...



i'm already taken... haha!!

i got something in my eye

it's not dust. nothing foreign got in it. every morning i always check myself in the mirror, dusting off my eye booger and stare at my ever mysterious eyes. something in it leaves me wondering every time somebody's praising my eyes, at school, with my friends, with the CI's, or even those i don't know. sometimes, i just wished i am as perfect as my eyes (i wish my body was). God is so good for giving me such an asset. i just realized i can be pretty at times when i don't want to. =D
but i admit that i am never photogenic, and so as my eyes.

pink-hater

damned pink-colored ink
a shade of my enemy
her lips of lies
and cheeks of Judas' kiss
no one can be trusted
they are just a bunch of
wilted pink roses
offered to Charon.

a priceless Prada in a shade
of the lightest red
carried by hand, by shoulder
or by the back
guarded by thief walking in
the brightest streets of the city
really, you can't trust no one.

pink, the desire for love
never forgets the desire for lust
a cherry-scented latex
for a cherry pop
ripped in the middle of your core
and after 270 days,
hear the cry of the sweetest
fruit from a cherry popped
still, you can't trust someone who
has taken you for granted.

Pink.
a stained purity of white
with the blood of red
from the innocent father
a mourning fatherless family
the loss of the one who was
wrapped in a white blanket
drenched in his reddest
erythrocytes.
a powerless individual
losed his fight for his right
now you can't really trust
those who promised you life
of a better living

there is no real happiness
no real love,
nothing's real in
pink.

Primaflora

Giving flowers to someone is the most awkward thing I would ever do, even to my girlfriend. I haven't given her a single petal since the day we were together.
She used to ask me to give her just one long-stemmed red rose that costs less than thirty pesos. Every month she's begging me for it.
Our anniversary is fast approaching and so i want to surprise her with what she's been asking for. I want her to be happy on that day by giving her much of she wanted. I am a pro when it comes to poker, a game played by the thugs. And so I took a bet on one of the best player in a certain casino. I won the game; I won big. But it did not ended well. He was not a man of his words. He bet a big amount of cash and didn't give me what I deserve to get. I threw the first punch when I realize she was at the entrance. I paused for a moment wondering how did she know i was here. Then suddenly he ran towards her and grabbed her threatening her life with his shining small knife. That pimp had his ally knocked me out of my consciousness as I heard her scream for help.
At the moment i returned to my cognizance, the pain was on the edge to hurt me more. An eerie feeling made my spine chill. Her mother was at the bedside, looking pale and doesn't seem want to talk. She silently delivered me to a place with no identification. Perplexed, i really have no idea what was I doing in that creepy place. A man called me up and led me to a chamber. I can feel my knees wobble like gelatin when in saw her there lying flat, cold, and breathless. And the trace of blood blotted the clothe that covered her face.
Today is our supposedly 3rd anniversary. I know it's too long for me to wait to face her. I'm now standing in front of a marble where her name was carved; where she sleeps endlessly; where our dreams and promises were buried. Our memories and reveries are flashing back in my mind. And in my hand, I am holding the first flower that i would give her. I hope she'll like it.

right-est thing to do...

is to save my poems in this blog...
is to remember my username (moron!)
is to think straighter
is to study psychia
is to remain in my sanity despite of the "adncfhuioheruf" skeds.
is to sleep after this...

gudnytie!!!

i'm sooo bored

im just bored.
that's all.
thanks for reading this piece of something.
it's just a random thought...
a flight of idea...

=)